Archive for October, 2015

Breach response planning, set to music!

Posted in General Security, Silly on 29 October, 2015 by Alec Waters

It’s the graveyard shift at the SOC. Ana and Elsa are on duty, when suddenly it becomes clear that Bad Things are afoot. The nightmare scenario has come about – the Evil Hackers have come for them, and now the company has got to deal with it. To keep their spirits up, they sing along to the Incident Response plan – now you can sing along too!

The lights glow red on the console tonight
Not a green tick to be seen
A network of desolation,
And our Brand has lost its sheen.

Twitter is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried!

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
The pastebin boasting of the hacking spree
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know!

We got owned, we got owned
Can’t hold it back anymore
We got owned, we got owned
Journalists are at the door!

I don’t know
What they’re going to say
Can I fob them off..?
The press never bothered me anyway!

We had a load of warnings
Of our impending fall
And the hacks that once seemed far-fetched
Have left us feeling mauled

The hackers showed what they could do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for them
They’re free!

We got owned, we got owned
I am suddenly feeling shy
We got owned, we got owned
Today you’ll see me cry!

Here I stand
But not for long
Time for me to hide…

The share price flurries through the air into the ground
It’s time to fire someone and change the branding all around
Re-skin the website, change our name and do it fast
The share price rises back,
The past is in the past!

We got owned, we got owned
You’ll forget by the break of dawn
Who got owned, who got owned?
That memory is gone!

Here I stand
In the light of day
Business carries on,
elsa2

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